THEY MADE ME ANGRY (THEY PUSHED MY BUTTONS!)
If someone else or something else is in control of your emotions, you are likely to be abused, subjugated, messed up and messed with! Have you identified what, who and how influences you to be angry or frustrated? If not it does not really matter because this will come out in the wash as you perform the daily exercise described at the base of this page. If you have identified a person that continually presses your button. Do not judge that person! If possible keep your distance instead. The reason for not judging is quite logical. In judging that person, we make matters worse by proving to ourselves that we “should” be angry. No! Do not validate or justify your anger, this is a vicious circle that will serve to maintain your anger instead of eliminating it. We should also avoid going over the episode in our minds or in discussion with others. This too only serves to feed and keep an entrenched sense of anger. Let it go. Move on, both in your mind and in your physical space. Say to yourself “it is what it is”. And simply walk away. People around us can be ignorant, foolish, upsetting, as well as nasty but “it is what it is”. We cannot always control our environment or the behaviour of others. Stay cool and know without a doubt that no one but ourselves can control our minds and body to such an extent that we lose it. Walk away from any verbal or physically threatening behaviour.
HAS ANGER BECOME YOUR NORMAL
When we are accustomed to being angry and seen many around us become angry, this becomes a normal state of affairs. It becomes a normal reality and a normal habit, a normal mind set to adopt. But anger is simply a mental construct, an idea and reaction we have adopted to suit the circumstance or our ego. How about adopting a new normal and a new reality. A new normal that does not require that you are dependant on anger to feed you.
“You have to understand….most of these people are not ready to be unplugged, and many of them so injured, so hopelessly dependant on the system(our view of reality), that they will fight to protect it” morpheus, The matrix
Say after me:-
●☆ NO ONE can press my buttons
●☆ NO ONE can control me
●☆ I CONTROL me
You might be at the point where you know this to be true, However it has not necessarily become deeply engrained yet.
ANGER CONTROL ACTIVITIES
♡■ There is one main activity. This involves writing morning pages. I was taught this brilliant concept by julia camerons work. Each morning when you wake up, I need you to have an A4 notepad and pen to the ready. You may need to get up an hour or half an hour earlier each morning to do this excercise. As you wake up begin writing in your notepad, pouring out your heart into your notepad, not stopping to think about what you are writing, do not judge what you write, do not pause to take note of the spelling or the grammar, what is important is that you keep writing without pausing until you have completed 3 pages. This has the effect of flushing out mental floss ie rubbish that we have stored in our minds without even realising. It is a form of gentle self release without sitting on a psychiatrist couch! Do not underestimate the power of this excercise loved one. It truly does help I can testify the that fact. Note that these pages are highly personal and perhaps should be destroyed periodically.
For a full rundown on this powerful and well renowned strategy to reduce anger click on the following link
♡■ On a sticker place the phrase, I am joyful every second of every day, and put this sticker on your fridge, or where you will see it daily
♡■ Place a nice calming picture of the ocean on your fridge, or some other picture that makes you feel at peace, but most of all happy and inspired! I use a picture of a villa that i stayed in when in spain. That picture keeps me focussed on my dream as well as puts me in a good mood.
♡■ Carry around with you a photo of something that makes you smile, a previous holiday photo, a funny picture of your child or nephew for instance
♡■ Sip chamomile tea (with peppermint tea and milk) throughout the day to encourage physical calming. I find this quite soothing. Drink this as a replacement for coffee or anything highly stimulating. Consider also supplementing with natural cortisol support herbals
♡■ Smile every day (even if it is a forced grin at first) because you now have the keys to a self empowered life
Please leave a kind comment if you like my work.
Peace and love