This discussion hopes to bring you to the realisation that forgiveness and love are our natural states. And to stray from a center point of normalcy causes pain within us. This is a continuation of the mind development series posted once per week.
Usually the reason we cannot forgive and forget is because somebody has wounded us deeply. We find it unforgivable because it is not something we would have done ourselves(usually). It might involve betrayal or worse. And therefore the pain we feel is intense. Unfortunately over time this pain can also grow instead of diminishing as other hurts are added to our life experience.
Unforgiveness is our faulty and stubborn mind set at work, and not to our benefit. If we are “still” experiencing pain then we need to release it by truly forgiving the person that has hurt us. I think most of us acknowledge that there might be something to this “forgiveness lark” but have not really accepted it much less tried it.
Can You forgive your toddler for hitting you in the eye?
I think you can forgive your toddler for hitting you in the eye. (If you do not have a toddler then please imagine you do). Most likely it was an accident. They do not have very good hand eye coordination at that age. Further more they are unaware that what they are doing hurts us. So yes I think we can all agree that we can forgive and forget and love that toddler despite him hurting us. Now, I can hear you say that the person that hurt me was 40 years old and knew precisely what he was doing. That may be so, and you have every right to feel angry. The problem arises when you hold on to that anger for so long it becomes toxic. You become bitter and unhappy…long term! This is unacceptable. This is also very unhealthy.
Coming back to the toddler. Since we both agreed we could forgive the toddler. That means we do all have the capacity to love and forgive. It is not that we are incapable of loving and forgiving. What has happened is that you have chosen not to forgive. You believe that somehow by not forgiving that perpetrator that we are somehow hurting the perpetrator. NO we are hurting ourselves loved ones. The perpetrator is out there enjoying life whilst you are still hanging onto “your” pain! You need to switch your mindset away from the pain and onto forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to a lightness, joy and peace that is preferable to the pain that we experience in non forgiveness.
Withholding forgiveness is like hating ourselves, we are love!
We need to make the decision to forgive and love with our hearts and minds, the same way we forgave that toddler for hurting us. Some of us have very close families that we love dearly that have hurt us, yet we manage to forgive them. We forgive them because we Love them so much! A mother can still love her son after the most heinous crime. Love is our natural state and this is why it hurts so much when we remain in unforgiveness. We are living contrary to how our dna was created. Our very being was created in love and with love. We are love, yet we are displaying a form of hatred towards another or certainly a lack of compassion and forgiveness.
□♡ you are love
□♡ you are forgiveness
□♡ you are light
All that you need do Is do! Ie practice the love that is within you and who you are. Do it promptly. Do not hold onto grudges. The person whom you dislike may be cruel and chances are you may not want to befriend them again. That depends on the level of infraction. Regardless, do not hold onto unforgiveness a second longer than you have to. Always protect yourself from harm and always forgive.
Three exercises to complete
■□☆Repeat after me, “i am love, i am forgiveness, i am light”. If the pain is an established pain that has been around for the longest time, the pain will fade the more you repeat the mantra. You must also honestly and sincerely make up your mind to forgive.
■□ write that person a letter which you do not post telling them that you forgive them for the hurt they caused and how and why you are able to forgive. When you do this, do it with the acknowledgement that you too have caused pain in another human being. Know that you have not been condemned for your mistakes and never will be. So do not hold onto guilt for the pain you have caused either. It is God that judges us for our actions not man. Then destroy this letter.
■□☆ I have talked about the importance of stream of consciousness writing or using the modern day phrase “morning pages”. Doing this each morning will help you to release any built up anger you have within. In many cases it will not be enough to acknowledge that you are still upset or resentful. Work still needs to be done. We are a work in progress as we move to a higher spiritual plane. So please loved ones love yourself and practice this early morning ritual. This is very important.
There go here the benefits of morning pages for not just mind development but peace of mind!
When you do the right thing that corresponds with making you feel alive and at peace, you will be blessed accordingly. You will attract increased positivity and joy into your life.