How to Forgive and Forget

Forgiveness it's benefits

This discussion hopes to bring you to the realisation that forgiveness and love are our natural states. And to stray from a center point of normalcy causes pain within us. This is a continuation of the mind development series posted once per week.

Usually the reason we cannot forgive and forget is because somebody has wounded us deeply. We find it unforgivable because it is not something we would have done ourselves(usually). It might involve betrayal or worse. And therefore the pain we feel is intense. Unfortunately over time this pain can also grow instead of diminishing as other hurts are added to our life experience.

Unforgiveness is our faulty and stubborn mind set at work, and not to our benefit. If we are “still” experiencing pain then we need to release it by truly forgiving the person that has hurt us. I think most of us acknowledge that there might be something to this “forgiveness lark” but have not really accepted it much less tried it.

I hope you enjoyed this topic in the mind development series. I will be producing one or two per week. Please leave requests for me to discuss topics below. If I am able I will surely oblige.
Peace and love

20 Comments on “How to Forgive and Forget”

  1. Hello Ann,

    Forgiveness and moving on is really a big issue especially when your deeply hurt. Personally, I find it easy to forgive people but I have a habit of remembering what someone did in the past. I consciously try to suppress the thoughts of how I was wronged. Does it mean that I’ve not truly forgiven? Or is this a normal human response to moving on?

    Expecting your feedback

    1. Thank you for responding Louis and taking the time to write, if you are finding yourself suppressing thoughts of being wronged then that would suggest you have not truly forgiven. Please find it in your heart to forgive, this will give you a lightness in your step and lightness in your heart, ann

  2. Am move by this message. I use to have a close friend that offend me by betraying my trust for him. 

    I have foe never to forgive him nor forgive what he did to me long ago by taking a contact that belong to me and we both know

    but reading this article makes me realise am doing my self more harm than good. 

    i will call him today and make a reunion with him. God help

    1. Hi adjibola, bless you, i do hope your reunion goes well. Deep down most of us want peace and joy. It is the precious few that do not. Thank you for stopping by, ann

  3. Sometimes to forgive someone that hurts us is easier said than done. The hate can be so deep that we might intend on doing something wrong to that person if given the chance. Forgiving someone though is actually not for the benefit of the person but for our own benefit.

    Life is really too short to hold a grudge against someone. It is not easy to forgive but it is something we just have to do. Holding grudge for a long time might even end up affecting our health negatively which is definitely not worth it.

  4. I found your post worthy of rereading it over and over again, it is exactly what I need at this moment of my life. I have been hurt by my best friend, I feel like Knives stabbed me from the back through my heart.I think I have taken too much poison hoping that my friend will be hurt, maybe he will realise her mistake and apologise.Yes, I have forgiven her with all my heart.Thank you!!!🙏🏾

    1. Bless you, forgiveness is not the easiest way, but it is the best way, i am glad and heartened that you are able to forgive, you are a shining bright light, thank you for sharing and responding

  5. Forgiveness makes you stay healthy and live a happy life. God forgives us when we sin and so we are expected to forgive one another when they err against us. When you forgive, you will realize how happy you can be but when you decides not to forgive, bitterness would captivate the heart and that’s an unhealthy lifestyle.

  6. Hello, Thanks for sharing this article. I, myself have caught myself holding grudges against people. Only to realize later I was the only person affected by my closed-mindedness. Your information points this out it doesn’t help us out at all holding these grievances inside us.  

    To remedy this issue I had, I started reading books on the subject. And through reading, I found my path to self-examination. Also, seeing a way my mantras could help me get my attitude right. 



    1. Yes unfortunately the best of us have held grudges in the past, i am glad you are growing personally with self examination and your reading… stay blessed and thanks for sharing keven

  7. “Hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”

    Ann, this quote really got to me. I have a lot of experience with holding on to grudges and i thought i was hurting the other person until i realized i was hurting myself. I was always going around always angry and frustrated at everything and everyone around me until i realized i was just hurting myself. So i decided to forgive anyone that has wronged me and just move on and i noticed changes, my mind was free and happy. This just helps to emphasize that forgiveness is freedom.

    I also have a question, “How do you forgive someone that keeps wronging you and doesn’t have an idea and even after calling them out still cant stop” Thanks

    1. Bless you aweda, i like the way you too express it yes forgivess is freedom, thank you for that….as regards your friend that keeps wronging you, give them a wide birth forgive snd move on, we are not here on this earth to be stepped on. You have different paths to travel and your own destinies to fulfill, peace, ann

  8. Hello Ann

    I really loved reading your article. I like how you correlate everyone who makes a mistake to a toddler. I agree it is always there in us to forgive and forget. Hate is terrible and it spoils you as a person yourself.

    Great article and thanks for sharing

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to post on my site, yes if we can find it in our hearts to forgive a toddler, it means we have the capacity within us to forgive, therefore we can and should forgive to lighten our load

  9. Great article, don’t let anger to control your action! Relax and feel the love! Thank you for this article! Forgive is a hard thing, but we need to learn.

  10. Excellent article. I’ve often found the more forgiveness I offer to others the better off I am in life. There’s no more dwelling on needless anger that doesn’t help any situation. I’ve also found that holding anger affects all walks of my own life and it just isn’t necessary. To forgive and forget means to move on and open the door to bigger and better things. It’s a high road that I take time and again.

    1. Yes, forgive and forget means to move on, thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post. Peace and love, ann

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