I have great news for anyone that has suffered from being “too sensitive”, it really does create or rather leave one feeling unnecessary emotional pain. And that is at the hands of another party that is either unsensitive, uncaring or in pain themselves. The last category of those “creating pain” in the sensitive person is the psychopath or narcissist. I will share with you why sensitivity is a gift you have not yet learnt to harness (without the pain!) to become more confident and personally strong.) I suffered with extreme sensitivity for most of my life so I am speaking from personal experience.)
So now we know the sources of potential pain triggered by others we can take steps to avoid falling into the trap of sensitivity. Have you been at the mercy of a highly critical boss or colleague or even parent or friend? Has your encounter or encounters with them left you feeling low or upset. The first step to overcoming this “sensitive state” is to first notice when and from whom you have been triggered to feel this way. Once you have identified the who and the why it is plain sailing and a new level of confidence and happiness from there onwards.
So first things first. You notice that someone has made you upset. Can you identify what was said that made you so unhappy? Were they belittling? Or were they simply being mean. It does not really matter too much about the content of what was said. Sensitive people are generally sensitive because they can FEEL or SENSE the pain of another BUT then take that pain into themselves! How ludicrous is that! If there is one thing I need you to remember it is this. No healthy, well BALANCED human being creates pain in someone else either directly or through manipulation using other people. The person “creating” the pain is in emotional pain whether that pain is acknowledged or not. And whether they will admit it or not. That person is insecure, fearful and in emotional pain! You are NOT responsible for their pain. You are responsible for recognising a “pain body” in your midst (that is mean, belittling, nasty…).
Once you have recognised that you are dealing with a “pain body”, you now have the option whether to get carried away by the pain they are trying to get you to feel, or you can choose to say NO to their pain body and remain in your naturally happy, calm state. Also be aware that someone is not necessarily intentionally being mean, however, once you start to recognise their pain (as you were doing all along anyway) and SEPARATE YOURSELF from their pain– by your recognition and observation of their pain— life becomes a whole lot more easier.
(The term “pain body” was used by eckhart tolle to describe the emotional deep seated pain in someone that they may or may not be aware of.)
It’s a bit like an invitation. They are saying will you join me in my pain? And from now on internally you will be saying no I will not join you in your pain. I Know that I have said this earlier but it is worth ramming home so that it is not forgotten. Always remember a healthy, WELL BALANCED person does not attempt to create pain in others. Therefore when you are confronted with a person trying to create pain in you, you now know from what weak unbalanced “pain body” place they are coming from. If you are in a constant negative environment you may need to re-read this paragraph so that it is embedded into your subconscious. It is easy to fall into the trap of taking on someone elses pain or being unnecessarily offended when we have been doing this our whole lives. So from now on please become mindful of your environment when or if you feel you are in the company of someone that regularly pushes your buttons. Remember, it is NOT you!
This is how you reduce your sensitivity. Sensitivity was a gift all along to enable you to spot someone in pain and once you do this, you know you dont have to join them. It does take practice to learn your particular triggers. It will be different for everyone. Overtime you will become stronger and stronger. We are all flawed human beings, love yourself, inspite of any sensitivity or insecurities you may be feeling. In time you will grow as you learn more about yourself.
Please browse through other articles on the sitem particularly the post written regarding morning pages which will be of great help to you.
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