Today I wanted to take a look at Self Pity. It is a set of thoughts in the mind that can become quite addictive. When we view these types of self pitying thoughts from a different perspective we then realise that we are hanging onto unnecessary pain. In fact we are hanging onto self inflicted pain over and over. In particular I am referring to self pity we may feel after being abused by a narcissist or similar abusive type of personality.
To have self pity means that you have accepted defeat. It means that you regard yourself as a victim instead of victorious. Maybe looking at the past does not look good and hence you feel sorry for yourself, sorry for having gone through what you have, sorry that you were taken advantage of and you remember the pain that this caused you in the past.
Here’s why you have the edge over people that caused you pain
I would like you to see yourself as victorious instead of seeing yourself as a victim. Here’s why. When you looked back at those circumstances that made you feel sad, think of the perpetrator! Think of how sad and flawed and unhappy and possibly nasty this individual must be to have inflicted this pain on you. Instead of feeling self pity, feel pity for the perpetrator! That person is pitiful. Don’t take on the emotions they ought to feel. You are not guilty. Rather you were subjected to their cruelty. Feel pity for them that would behave in such a debase manner, devoid of intelligence and compassion for another human being. Do not feel self pity, feel pity for the one that is able to commit these unsavoury acts against another human being.
Why do you feel these “wicked” people have power? They Dont!
Sometimes we fall into the trap of seeing wickedness or mean spirited people as powerful. After all they “made” us feel awful, they “made” us feel belittled, they “made” us feel sad. Could part of those reactive feelings on your part be shock. Perhaps you were not expecting someone could behave in that way as to create anger and self pity in you. Perhaps temporarily we did not know how to process their behaviour, after all it not something you would do.
Temporarily they were able to affect our emotions. So in a sense they gained control over your emotions and over you. Again, realise that this type of person, I mean the perpetrator is deeply insecure. I want you to remember that. They are not powerful they are pitiful. They are ignorant, deeply flawed, lost souls who know no better and will never achieve their highest potential in life.
Ask yourself, does a good person deliberately try to create pain in another(ok we all have, i am talking about the ones who seem to consistently create pain in others with no or little remorse). Does a good person belittle you? Does a good person exploit You? Does a good person manipulate and isolate you? Does a good person chat about you behind your back? Does a good person use others to affect your behaviour(Again manipulation). A narcissist will tell you the means justify the ends. When you hear this run a mile! They have a god complex coupled with extreme arrogance that tells them that they can do and act anyhow they want regardless of how much pain they create or cause. Beware the flying monkeys.
Again these are sick or unbalanced people that deserve your pity for them! They will never be able to accomplish what you can accomplish. They operate on a low frequency vibration and can never have the potential that you have. Undoubtedly they will try to keep you from feeling victorious. Know that you have already won. This is why self pity is unnecessary pour your pity on them!
Finally can you forgive and love your enemy
This is the hardest part of all. Remember, in forgiving our enemies we acknowledge that we are all “sinners”. And we too have been guilty of something in our past. Please make up your mind to forgive. That does not mean that you are required to form a friendship with that person that has wronged you. If you can also go one step further and love that person, knowing that the roots of their actions were borne out of fear. At the person’s core they most likely lacked love in childhood. Psychologists are in agreement that the most cruel among us lacked a loving caring, nurturing, environment. They quite often grew up in fear and or knew nothing else but abuse. Therefore we must accept what has happened to us and move on.
Kick self pity in the teeth. You control your ship ie yourself. You control your mind. Don’t let them control your emotions by giving away your power. Again do not give away your POWER. Remember you are victorious not a victim. You are victorious naturally vibrating on a higher frequency. You are operating on a more powerful energy plane that neither creates pain for yourself or others. That is something to be proud of as you progress further still accomplishing your goals and dreams. I believe you have every reason to know that you have conquered self pity. I believe you now have pity for the perpetrator instead. Love yourself unconditionally warts and all.
If you liked this article, please leave a nice comment below. I will be updating this blog hopefully twice a week. They will be posts relating to mind development. Please revisit and make yourself at home.
Peace and love